When dealing with the PUA community, the most common problem these guys send me is what they call “Approach Anxiety.”

It’s bullshit.  Approach Anxiety, that is.  Look at it like this.  Can you go up to your boss and say “Hi.  How are you?”  Do you get all nervous and feel those butterflies fluttering in and out of your stomach when you do that?  No?  Now what if your boss was a smoking hot 30 year old woman.  Purely from a physical attraction standpoint, would you still get nervous saying hello to her?  No?  Then why does some woman in a bar inflict so much fear in to you?  Why does she get you all jumbled up internally so that you turn yourself in to a blundering idiot?

Your guess is as good as mine.

It’s how society has made it and I’m here to put the middle finger high up in the air and tell society to go fuck itself.

Here’s a very simple, yet incredibly powerful, technique that I developed in 2007, oddly enough, to get over a bit of stage fright before doing karaoke.

Close your eyes and recall a time where you felt like you were on top of the world!  It doesn’t matter if it was five days ago, or five years ago.  We’ve all had this feeling.  Once you have it, slowly take in a deep breath, say FUCK IT (you can say it inside your head), and blow it all out like a puff of smoke.  Notice how you immediately feel better.  All that negative energy is gone and you’re riding this natural high that can’t be matched by any drug!

What happened is that you took this great feeling, this feeling of being the Emperor of the World and anchored it to taking a deep breath.  A second anchor was set as well.  And if you’re not sure what I mean by anchors, I’ll get to that in a bit.  That second anchor is removing this negative energy from your mind, body, and soul by blowing out quickly like you’re expelling smoke from your lungs.


“Stimuli that will consistently produce the same internal data in an individual.”  Robert Dilts.

I love using the act of breathing to set anchors for myself.  I have about six or seven different things I’ve anchored to deep breathing and exhaling.  Why?  Rubbing the back of your head might seem a bit odd, or even thumbing your chin might get people going “huh?”  But breathing?  It’s only natural to take a deep breath from time to time.  It’s hiding in plain sight and nobody will know any better.

Back to dealing with Approach Anxiety.

There are a myriad of ways to get over this.  I’ll post some more on energy control later on that’ll put you on your ass.  Just know that this is something that you have complete control over.  It’s not “out of your hands.”  How can it be out of your hands when it’s plastered inside your head?  Start looking around see what else is up there.  Feel free to comment and ask questions here, or send them to  I’ll answer any and all questions as soon as I can.

Just to give you a heads up, I’ll posting something here shortly about what to do with that nagging little voice that tells you you’re not good enough.  You’d be surprised at how easy it is to shut that guy up.



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